When was the last time you just stopped? When was the last time you just took a deep, long breath in and slowly exhaled that breath? When was the last time you just sat and quieted your mind the best way you knew how? When was the last time you sat in silence?
The past couple of years has brought about so many topsy turvy emotions, reactions and counterproductive responses to the chaos that has resided around us. So, I find that I’m asking myself these questions. I’m fortunate to not have to work a full-time job, my husband is retired and my children are basically on their own now. So, now I am faced with the daunting reality that questions how I am going to fill my days. For 24 years I have been married, for 22 of those years I have raised 3 children along-side my husband, (thank God for him).
Six months ago, my husband and I moved into a small town in the Pacific Northwest of Washington State. We found a little sweet spot with a view of the Olympic Mountain range and the Hood Canal. Every day we look out of the big picture window and gaze upon the beauty that is before us. How could we ever leave this place? Well, we don’t want to leave this place. It came along at just the right time. With Covid lasting way too long, this seemed to be the icing on the cake when existing in the time of Covid. This place is silent, its beauty is beyond compare, and the peace that exists is undeniable. There is the absence of “noise” from the city, which happens to only be a few miles away. Deer roam in the yard almost every day and bald eagles soar above the hood canal and tree tops. I ask myself, “what more could I ever ask for”? Bottom line, I can’t ask for anymore. I don’t need anymore!
Raising children is a daunting task and very exhausting, yet can be rewarding when you see them stepping into their own unique identities and pursuing their dreams. So, for me, I’m attempting to set aside my tendency to continue to be in their messes and continuing to show them the ‘right’ way…hahaha! I have to remind myself that they have to find their own way. My way is much different than their way is destined to be. I have to take my hands off now and just become someone to them that will always be there when they need me. I will continue to love them and be there for them no matter what. All I want for them is to be happy, be successful, be open to the ever present reality of change, and always love themselves and those around them.
As I said before, I am faced with the daunting question of what am I going to do now? Do I feel a bit of an “empty-nest” syndrome? Perhaps. But it’s more than that. I feel that now it is time for…ME! There are days when I feel down, bored, depressed, and I feel I have absolutely no purpose anymore. It’s actually kind of scary. But, it’s time to give myself some quality time to recover from the last 24 years. That sounds funny, but it’s true. One thing that Covid did bring to us, as a blessing, was the isolation that we all experienced, it caused us to turn to things like meditation, yoga, exercise and other different forms that has helped us keep our sanity and not go absolutely crazy. These activities have helped us daily to make it through this crazy period of time in our world. Now that I have time on my hands, I’m taking up small courses like drawing and poetry. This is helping me to step outside of my box (my personality, ego and superficial self) and begin to pull on the creative side of me. It’s my turn to stop, take a deep breath in, and a slow exhaling of that same breath. It’s time to discover my true self, and my own realities and begin to determine which of those realities are true and which ones are not true.
I encourage you to do the same. You may be a full-time working parent with children at home. I don’t know your situation, but I wish I would have taken time for myself years ago. Don’t let yourself go. Don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t wait to stop and breathe. Keep going, but always make time for yourself. Even if it’s 5 minutes hidden in the closet to just breath. You are just as important as your children, as your parents, as your job etc. Do not diminish who you are and what your present role is in life. Put your oxygen mask on before helping anyone else with theirs. You are important! You have needs too! Don’t deny yourself of those precious needs.
I hope your 2022 is a year that is filled with rest, moments of silence and contemplation, your false realities falling away and stepping into a new reality of the true and authentic you!
Freely Authentic 