Tag: children

A New Reality

Freely Authentic2 Comments

When was the last time you just stopped? When was the last time you just took a deep, long breath in and slowly exhaled that breath? When was the last time you just sat and quieted your mind the best way you knew how? When was the last time you sat in silence?

The past couple of years has brought about so many topsy turvy emotions, reactions and counterproductive responses to the chaos that has resided around us. So, I find that I’m asking myself these questions. I’m fortunate to not have to work a full-time job, my husband is retired and my children are basically on their own now. So, now I am faced with the daunting reality that questions how I am going to fill my days. For 24 years I have been married, for 22 of those years I have raised 3 children along-side my husband, (thank God for him). 

Six months ago, my husband and I moved into a small town in the Pacific Northwest of Washington State. We found a little sweet spot with a view of the Olympic Mountain range and the Hood Canal. Every day we look out of the big picture window and gaze upon the beauty that is before us. How could we ever leave this place? Well, we don’t want to leave this place. It came along at just the right time. With Covid lasting way too long, this seemed to be the icing on the cake when existing in the time of Covid. This place is silent, its beauty is beyond compare, and the peace that exists is undeniable. There is the absence of “noise” from the city, which happens to only be a few miles away. Deer roam in the yard almost every day and bald eagles soar above the hood canal and tree tops. I ask myself, “what more could I ever ask for”? Bottom line, I can’t ask for anymore. I don’t need anymore!

Raising children is a daunting task and very exhausting, yet can be rewarding when you see them stepping into their own unique identities and pursuing their dreams. So, for me, I’m attempting to set aside my tendency to continue to be in their messes and continuing to show them the ‘right’ way…hahaha!  I have to remind myself that they have to find their own way. My way is much different than their way is destined to be. I have to take my hands off now and just become someone to them that will always be there when they need me. I will continue to love them and be there for them no matter what. All I want for them is to be happy, be successful, be open to the ever present reality of change, and always love themselves and those around them.  

As I said before, I am faced with the daunting question of what am I going to do now? Do I feel a bit of an “empty-nest” syndrome? Perhaps. But it’s more than that. I feel that now it is time for…ME! There are days when I feel down, bored, depressed, and I feel I have absolutely no purpose anymore. It’s actually kind of scary. But, it’s time to give myself some quality time to recover from the last 24 years. That sounds funny, but it’s true. One thing that Covid did bring to us, as a blessing, was the isolation that we all experienced, it caused us to turn to things like meditation, yoga, exercise and other different forms that has helped us keep our sanity and not go absolutely crazy. These activities have helped us daily to make it through this crazy period of time in our world. Now that I have time on my hands, I’m taking up small courses like drawing and poetry. This is helping me to step outside of my box (my personality, ego and superficial self) and begin to pull on the creative side of me. It’s my turn to stop, take a deep breath in, and a slow exhaling of that same breath. It’s time to discover my true self, and my own realities and begin to determine which of those realities are true and which ones are not true. 

I encourage you to do the same. You may be a full-time working parent with children at home. I don’t know your situation, but I wish I would have taken time for myself years ago. Don’t let yourself go. Don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t wait to stop and breathe. Keep going, but always make time for yourself. Even if it’s 5 minutes hidden in the closet to just breath. You are just as important as your children, as your parents, as your job etc. Do not diminish who you are and what your present role is in life. Put your oxygen mask on before helping anyone else with theirs. You are important! You have needs too! Don’t deny yourself of those precious needs. 

I hope your 2022 is a year that is filled with rest, moments of silence and contemplation, your false realities falling away and stepping into a new reality of the true and authentic you! 

Kingdom Value

Freely Authentic3 Comments

As we enter into a new year once again, I like to reflect back on the year before. I like to see where I started the year, and where I was when it ended. This last year, 2015, causes me to reflect on the goodness of God, His abundance and His provision.

As a mother, it is my desire to see my children fully satisfied, happy and enjoying life as much as possible. However, I find myself with the mindset that they are spoiled and don’t have much value for anything they have. This is very disappointing to me as I think on it. As parents we try to instill in our children the same values we have, but as my husband and I have been discussing this, this is a problem. We cannot instill the same values, they have no grid for where we came from, how we grew up, lived our lives, worked for what we have etc. I’m a bit angry at how much we have sacrificed and given to be where we are today and the laze de faire attitude that this current generation seems to have relative to these values. Just yesterday I had to repent for my bad attitude. God gave me a good spanking and said, “If you take care of you and I, then I (God) will take care of everything else”.

God’s intention is to bless each of us abundantly. He doesn’t expect us to “work” for His blessing. If God doesn’t want me to work for His blessing, then how can I expect my children to work for their blessing? I don’t want my children to grow up the way I did, where I had to earn/work for everything. I’m not saying we should not work, but what are we working for? What is the motive behind our work? God’s motive is to bless. Ours is usually so we can meet what we see as needs, and be successful.

Every year since I have been married to my husband, my father-in-law would ask for our Christmas wish list. We would all send him our wishes and for the most part, we would open those gifts at each Christmas. Now, I grew up with a poverty mindset (this is what defines what our values are) in our home and not one of abundance, although we saw moments of abundance a few times. My wish list’s seemed to always be very short, and small, not asking for much and only asking for little trivial things. A few years ago, my wish list consisted of…a rice cooker. Yes, a rice cooker. I received that rice cooker, but as I sat back and watched everyone else open their gifts they were opening, Ipads, Iphones, Laptops, TV’s, all kinds of expensive gadgets and electronics. At that moment I felt like the Holy Spirit said to me, “Veronica, this is how I want to lavish gifts upon you”. Now my mindset had always been to not ask for too much, just what I ‘needed’. Needless to say, the next year I asked for a laptop, and that is what I got.

My father-in-law passed away this last March much to everyone’s surprise. We experienced great loss with his passing, but in November we signed papers on a home that we have been dreaming of having for a very long time. When we signed the papers, I was excited beyond belief, but at the same time feelings of guilt rose up and it has been a journey to really experience and accept the fact that, I didn’t work for any of this. It wasn’t my life’s savings that got us this home. It was the fact that someone else worked for years and years just so I could have this place. Once again, God is saying to me…you don’t have to work for my blessing, all I want you to do is receive it and give it away. When God gives something to us, it’s not ours to use exclusively upon ourselves, to hoard or to hide, like the story of the ten talents in the Bible. To whom much is given, much is required. But also, to whoever gives much, more will be given to him.

The best way to teach our children to have value is for them to see us, as parents, have value for the things of the Kingdom. It all starts in our perspective of God’s law of blessing in our lives. If our children see the value we have for what God does, then they will begin to see it and their own value systems will begin to form. Having a Kingdom perspective of value will never give room for entitlement, so we won’t need to worry about our kids having an entitlement attitude, if we are declaring our own value for the Kingdom and the blessings that come with it.

God’s way is to receive His blessing, don’t work for it, value the transformation that just came (I’ve just been set free from my load), then give the life-change away that just happened as a result of His grace infused into my life.

So as we enter 2016 let’s keep our focus on Him, our hearts in a posture to receive His blessing and our motives to value what He gives! His Kingdom is an everlasting Kingdom! His resources are limitless! His blessings are ready to be poured out on all creation!

Just Breathe!

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2015-03-30 06.45.07

I love sunrises!

I was sitting at my kitchen table one morning watching the sunrise mark another day’s beginning. As I watched I asked God, ‘why do I love sunrises so much’? I felt like I heard Him say…”With each sunrise is a new day and I don’t hold you in bondage to yesterday”. I was stunned by that simple thought. There is no way God is going to hold yesterday’s actions, thoughts or deeds over my head until I decide to change.

How many of us continually let yesterday dictate our today? How many times have we done or said something that we wished later on that we could take that back. How many of those times we participated in what our emotions were feeling instead of our heart?

I know as being a parent of 3 children it can sometimes be days of unending demand and by the end of the day I can tend to start snapping back and end up looking forward to bedtime. Yes, they are getting older now, but those days still exist sometimes.

Life has a way of demanding and pulling on us in numerous directions and we end up feeling like a ‘Stretch Armstrong’ doll. Almost everyday there is the pressure to, get to work, get the kids to school, deal with traffic, be abruptly cut off or given a dirty look because you’re not moving fast enough for another driver, do all the errands that need to be done, pay the bills, do the laundry, clean the house, go pick up the kids, help them with their seemingly endless stack of homework (even after being at school for 6-7 hours) but that’s whole ‘nother blog subject…lol. By the time homework is done, dinner is done, dishes have been washed and baths have been given, oh and a load of laundry thrown into the washer…you finally make it to getting the kiddo’s to bed (which takes 30 minutes alone), and you plop down on the couch, put your feet up and then finally….breathe!!

How many of you moms & dads can relate to that day? I’m sure many of you can! Let me encourage you by saying…You are doing an amazing job!!! Sometimes we just need to hear it.

If we are not careful our days can all run together and we forget to enjoy the moments that are so valuable and precious to us as individuals, but also as a family. It is so rewarding when you see all the input that has been given to your children actually come out in their actions. Simple things like, seeing a homeless person on the corner and all of a sudden from the back of the van I hear, “Mom, stop”, I hear rummaging and all of a sudden they stick their hand out the window and give that person a sandwich bag of wheat thins they didn’t finish eating with their lunch. Maybe it’s the time that they made a grumpy person smile just by doing something really silly. How about when they are just loving each other well!! The simple hug or hand on your shoulder.

We are meant for these moments. God desires us to enjoy the moment we are in and not get caught up in all the chores that need to be done. How much time do we give God or allow Him to just love on us? We can spend all day long doing what has been described above, but we might have such a struggle with just stopping to soak in His love and in His presence!

Early mornings are my treasure! I love waking up before everyone else, quietly moving myself downstairs, get my coffee, open the Bible and start reading about how much He loves me. Reading about how much He fights for me, how much He has given me to enjoy, how much He continues to show me my heart and encourages me to keep my gaze fixed on Him so I can become more and more like Him. All the while keeping a glance at the skies outside turn from dark to a slow light forming on the horizon and finally seeing the pink clouds and eventually that incredible brightness from the sun saying ‘Good Morning…it’s a brand new day’.

God is a good God and He is good all the time. He loves us with an everlasting love. No amount of love in the world can compare the the amount He loves me. His love brings hope, trust, wholeness, healing, faith, rest and so much more.

I encourage you to just stop and let Him love you! Forget what happened yesterday and look at today…it’s a new day!!

Psalm 73:25-26,28 – Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works.