A HEART POSTURED FOR TRANSITION…Part 1

The greatest obstacle we face when entering the unveiling process is the fear of change. Fear can cause us to question the change. Fear also wants us to remain in our comfort zone, and fear will always keep us from being vulnerable.

Freely AuthenticLeave a comment

Transition: the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.

How many times have you been steadily moving along in life and in a moment, because of a circumstance that changed, something unexpected came your way or you had a paradigm shift about something? Ah, thus the beginning of transition.

We have all experienced times of transition, change or shift in our lives, probably more than we really know or have even thought about. Transition can look very different from one person to the next. It can happen in the physical/natural, mental or the spiritual realms that we all experience on a daily basis.

Because the words change, shift, and transition can have such negative connotations attached to them, my husband and I have begun to couch these words with a single word that helps us in our process. That word is unveiling. I like this better because it hints to me I’m going to see or experience something new and in the process I might have a mindset change, a lens change or even more so, a heart change. But as I see, it brings even more clarity into my heart, and into the Kingdom of God, which opens me up for even more. My capacity has just been expanded when I open myself up for this to happen.

One of the greatest examples of transition I believe is the character of Paul. Yes, this guy was for real. He unabashedly/unashamedly and intentionally searched for believers to persecute them or even kill them for their faith. Kind of sounds like the ISIS of today. He was one man doing this. I’m sure he had his minions to also help him, but think of it…he was flat out murdering people just because of their faith.

Paul tells his version of the story in Acts 26:12-18 about the day that changed his life forever. While on his way to the town of Damascus a light from heaven, brighter than the sun shone all around him and those traveling with him. They all fell to the ground and he heard a voice addressing him by name. This voice asked Paul why he was persecuting HIM? Then the voice (Jesus), proceeded to tell Paul why he was created. To be a minister of the gospel, and to open the eyes from darkness (Satan) to light (Jesus), so they would KNOW forgiveness and receive the inheritance of Heaven.

Paul ended up absolutely turning the world upside down. He was as dedicated to the mission of the gospel as much as he was on the other end of the spectrum. Paul literally changed from one condition or state to another. I don’t believe everyone needs a “Damascus Road” experience like the one Paul had. I believe that was going to be the only way God was going to get Paul’s attention. Each one of us will experience God coming to us in very different ways. He speaks our language. He knows what will speak to us and get our attention. Let me just say this, God will never bring bad things upon us, but He will use those circumstances for our benefit and ultimately for His glory.

The Purpose of Change

The Lord spoke Paul’s purpose audibly to him, but our purpose is basically the same…to become more like Him and bring the Kingdom of Heaven to earth. We have been created for the purpose of carrying the Kingdom of God within us and to destroy the works of the devil.

Change is a process that pulls us out of our comfort zones like nothing else can. You think Paul was changed instantly? No, he was blinded for something like 3 days before he received his sight back. Side note: that had to be scary for him, Mr. Tough Guy, because being blind was the perfect opportunity for someone to get rid of him. He was the guy that caused so much turmoil and pain for people. Being blind for three days wasn’t the end of his change or unveiling. His ultimate change happened when he decided to follow The One who blinded him temporarily.

It is essential that the position of our hearts, minds and lives are in such a way that says, I’m not perfect, I understand that I don’t see things exactly right all the time, but I will keep my mind and my heart postured in a place where God has the permission to show me or speak to me about where or what needs to change in me.

Be Willing to Change

Are you one of those people that always think they’re right and don’t need to change? Perhaps you’re the person that doesn’t deal with change very well and so you stay where you are because you want to remain comfortable? Maybe you’re the individual that doesn’t want to put forth the effort that is required for change because you don’t “feel” like it?

It’s important to know that we have to release ourselves or give ourselves permission to go through the process of change. I’m not sure a caterpillar wants to be in a cocoon for several weeks until it transforms into a beautiful butterfly. To think that it no longer has to crawl on the ground, but will be able to fly to new heights never before realized and experience the freedom and fruit of transition.

There are so many good things that God wants to do in all of us, but if we remain in a place of refusal to change, how can we ever experience what He wants to pour into us? God can do so much more with a heart that is fully yielded!!

Be Willing to let the Unveiling Process Begin

It’s easy to just coast along and not give yourself over to the process. Sometimes it feels that the process is too much work, especially when you see what is being changed. We can tend to fight the process that can set us back.

The greatest obstacle we face when entering the unveiling process is the fear of change. Fear can cause us to question the change. Fear also wants us to remain in our comfort zone, and fear will always keep us from being vulnerable.

Be willing to open yourself up to the Holy Spirit, becoming vulnerable in His presence and allowing Him to show you what He wants to unveil to you, will permit the freedom needed for the unveiling to begin.

Be Willing to be Vulnerable

Surround yourself with people you trust to speak into your life. Let yourself be vulnerable to those people. Change is not designed to be comfortable and sometimes we can even feel like we are being exposed and forced to change even if we don’t want to. But fear will keep us from wanting to change.

Fear of change will keep you in your comfort zone!

God desires to take us from glory to glory as long as we are positioned for the process of unveiling. Don’t let fear keep you from experiencing His grace in your life. Lay aside the fear and embrace the beautiful process of the unveiling that you will experience.

Years ago my former pastor said, “there is only one constant in life and that is change”. It’s true, outside of Jesus. Whether we realize it or not everything is continually changing around us and even in us.

So, Posture your heart in this manner…

~ ~ Be Willing to Change

~ ~ Be Willing to let the Process Begin 

~ ~ Be Willing to Be Vulnerable!

The Reflection Pool

Freely Authentic1 Comment

Proverbs 27:19 – As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects man!

Having just completed three years of ministry school here in Redding, CA has felt like a great achievement for me. This is a mountain conquered! I recently asked myself, ‘why did you go to ministry school’? I think back three years ago when I was sitting on my sofa early in the morning…seems to be the time I hear God the best…but I asked God that question. I felt like I heard the response in my spirit say, ‘you need to go’. Emphasis on ‘need’!! God was right, I did need it!

After three years of countless hours sitting on a chair listening to different amazing speakers from the local area and from around the world, both men and women, sitting in hours of different classes, reading countless books, writing numerous papers and unending (it seemed) homework assignments, serving the community through some kind of service, serving the church in different areas, interning for incredible leaders, traveling around the globe on a variety of ministry trips and one missions trip, leading 2nd year students on ministry trips, having my very first opportunity to stand up and speak in a small church as the guest speaker…2 times, praying for people, laying hands on the sick and seeing them recover, blessing people, prophesying over classmates and attendees in different church meetings, in coffee shops to the parking lot and around the world…all the while being married and raising three children. Then I sit back and say, wow…that was exciting, that was fun, that was rewarding, that was life changing.

Now after 3rd year graduation some are off on new adventures, new positions of influence, new churches, new jobs. Not everyone experiences the same thing after going through three years of ministry school. There are those who jumped in with everything they had and gave it their all. Like a sponge they soaked up everything they could get. Then there were those who sat, took in what was being said and served quietly behind the ‘loud’ ones, participated in what was required, took risks that were difficult for them and stepped out of the boat more than once. Both graduated, but both look very different.

We have all heard the phrase, ‘the squeaky wheel gets the most attention’. After looking back, more often than not, it was the ‘loud’ ones that got the most attention or opportunities. When I say ‘loud’, I’m not meaning they were often the ones screaming or jumping up and down the most. I mean they were the one’s that went after all they could get with gusto. The one’s that threw themselves at every opportunity.

Then there were the quieter, more reserved one’s that desired the same attention or opportunities, but were still working through past issues and beliefs, struggled to step into the risk factor, they were not as ‘vocal’ as the ‘loud’ ones, yet they still served, still prayed, still prophesied, still did their assignments, read all the books, went on ministry trips, poured all they had into 3 years in their own quiet way.

Now, does this mean we only get somewhere if we are loud, excited, overjoyed and are willing to step over everyone and everything to get where we want to be? No, it doesn’t mean that at all. Every person has their own process to get to who they were created to be and to see their own dreams fulfilled. The quiet ones work just as hard as the loud ones. Every person is created uniquely different from the person next to you. Each of them has different gifts, talents, abilities, goals, dreams, visions, and desires.

The goal is meant to be that we all walk side by side, lifting each other up when we fall, keeping one another encouraged, being there to listen, being there to impart, tapping into, discovering and revealing who each one of us individually were created to be. We are all headed the same place and we all desire to see the same thing…the Kingdom of God come to earth. We are all children of God, not just the loud ones. The loud ones may think they are accomplishing more, but in reality, they may “say” more, but the quiet ones are getting just as much done and said in their way.

I will say that I am one of the quiet ones. No, I don’t have a position waiting for me, or a career to get back to, but I do have a family. Yes, I do wish I would have been more assertive in my 3 years, taken more chances and not let fear hold me back. But I have learned a lot about me. I see more clearly the areas that still need changed. I see how my ministry at this time is my children. If I can raise them to be radical revivalists and love God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength then I’ve been successful. Ministry doesn’t always look like a position behind a podium or on a platform. I am still me…I am still Mom and wife…I can still write, read, pray and take advantage of any opportunities that come my way.

My encouragement to you is…look in the mirror…who is reflecting back? Whoever you see is who you are currently. Yes, we continue the process of change from glory to glory. No one has ever reached the ultimate destination of being perfected here on earth. So, don’t be so hard on yourself if you don’t like what you see reflecting back. I know at times I don’t like what I see. That doesn’t mean I give up and quit. The goal is to go through the process, give yourself over to being changed daily, and begin to love that reflection because it is who you are…today! Tomorrow is another day, and overnight you’ve been changed.

Keep your heart aligned with Heaven, and your gaze fixed on His…face to face…and pretty soon, you will be amazed at where you are and who is being reflected back at you in the mirror.

Proverbs 27:19 – As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects man!

Just Breathe!

Freely AuthenticLeave a comment

2015-03-30 06.45.07

I love sunrises!

I was sitting at my kitchen table one morning watching the sunrise mark another day’s beginning. As I watched I asked God, ‘why do I love sunrises so much’? I felt like I heard Him say…”With each sunrise is a new day and I don’t hold you in bondage to yesterday”. I was stunned by that simple thought. There is no way God is going to hold yesterday’s actions, thoughts or deeds over my head until I decide to change.

How many of us continually let yesterday dictate our today? How many times have we done or said something that we wished later on that we could take that back. How many of those times we participated in what our emotions were feeling instead of our heart?

I know as being a parent of 3 children it can sometimes be days of unending demand and by the end of the day I can tend to start snapping back and end up looking forward to bedtime. Yes, they are getting older now, but those days still exist sometimes.

Life has a way of demanding and pulling on us in numerous directions and we end up feeling like a ‘Stretch Armstrong’ doll. Almost everyday there is the pressure to, get to work, get the kids to school, deal with traffic, be abruptly cut off or given a dirty look because you’re not moving fast enough for another driver, do all the errands that need to be done, pay the bills, do the laundry, clean the house, go pick up the kids, help them with their seemingly endless stack of homework (even after being at school for 6-7 hours) but that’s whole ‘nother blog subject…lol. By the time homework is done, dinner is done, dishes have been washed and baths have been given, oh and a load of laundry thrown into the washer…you finally make it to getting the kiddo’s to bed (which takes 30 minutes alone), and you plop down on the couch, put your feet up and then finally….breathe!!

How many of you moms & dads can relate to that day? I’m sure many of you can! Let me encourage you by saying…You are doing an amazing job!!! Sometimes we just need to hear it.

If we are not careful our days can all run together and we forget to enjoy the moments that are so valuable and precious to us as individuals, but also as a family. It is so rewarding when you see all the input that has been given to your children actually come out in their actions. Simple things like, seeing a homeless person on the corner and all of a sudden from the back of the van I hear, “Mom, stop”, I hear rummaging and all of a sudden they stick their hand out the window and give that person a sandwich bag of wheat thins they didn’t finish eating with their lunch. Maybe it’s the time that they made a grumpy person smile just by doing something really silly. How about when they are just loving each other well!! The simple hug or hand on your shoulder.

We are meant for these moments. God desires us to enjoy the moment we are in and not get caught up in all the chores that need to be done. How much time do we give God or allow Him to just love on us? We can spend all day long doing what has been described above, but we might have such a struggle with just stopping to soak in His love and in His presence!

Early mornings are my treasure! I love waking up before everyone else, quietly moving myself downstairs, get my coffee, open the Bible and start reading about how much He loves me. Reading about how much He fights for me, how much He has given me to enjoy, how much He continues to show me my heart and encourages me to keep my gaze fixed on Him so I can become more and more like Him. All the while keeping a glance at the skies outside turn from dark to a slow light forming on the horizon and finally seeing the pink clouds and eventually that incredible brightness from the sun saying ‘Good Morning…it’s a brand new day’.

God is a good God and He is good all the time. He loves us with an everlasting love. No amount of love in the world can compare the the amount He loves me. His love brings hope, trust, wholeness, healing, faith, rest and so much more.

I encourage you to just stop and let Him love you! Forget what happened yesterday and look at today…it’s a new day!!

Psalm 73:25-26,28 – Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works.

A Fixed Gaze

Freely AuthenticLeave a comment

Have you ever gone through a season where it seems that there is so much going on around you and it almost feels like your just spinning, sometimes feeling it’s all out of control? Now come on, be honest…we have all had those seasons and the circumstances are different for all of us, but the feeling is the same.

These feelings can lead us to several thoughts…change, transition, pruning, refining, purifying, adjustment, more change, transition and so on. It’s almost natural for us to begin to feel these seasons are something we dread going through or don’t want to experience. We say, ‘ugh, not again.

Recently, as I sat at my kitchen table early one morning before the sun rose and children woke, (the only quiet time in my house), I read the scripture Proverbs 4:25-27 and it began to really speak to me. I was reminded of the story of Elijah and Elisha (2 Kings 2). Elisha wanted Elijah’s mantle. Elijah told Elisha that he would have to see him be taken away in order for him to have it. One question that comes to me, just this moment is, did Elijah know he would be taken up by a whirlwind and chariot? Hmmm…thought for another time.

Anyway, Elisha had to see Elijah be caught up to be able to receive the mantle. Elisha’s job was to constantly watch Elijah. The test was to see if Elisha would be distracted by the whirlwind and chariot. The question is…would you or I be distracted? That’s something that is pretty hard to miss. But, how much do we want what our gaze is fixed upon?

What is your gaze fixed on?

Proverbs 4:25-27 Let your eyes look directly ahead, and let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you. Watch the path of your feet and all your ways will be established. Do not turn to the right nor to the left; turn your foot from evil. 

When we go through the times it seems that everything is spinning, transitioning, and changing we have a choice. Where are we going to set our gaze? Will it be on the circumstances that are the whirlwind or will we keep our eye on the source that will provide and supply everything we need to go through that whirlwind and come out into a new season all together?

You may ask, how can I keep my gaze or my eyes fixed on The One in the midst of the storm? I’m glad you asked!!

Determine to stay in the Presence: Staying in His presence and allowing God to do what He does best…love and protect us as any good father would do. He wants to give us more than what we can see right now, but if He gave it to us now, are we prepared to carry it? The more we spend in His Presence, the more our capacity expands. God knows how much He wants to give us in each season.

Stay Focused: Keeping our gaze fixed on our Creator assures that He has our back! He will be the One who will deliver us from all the troubles that surround us. There are countless scriptures to confirm this promise. He will be the One that will lead us into all good things. He will the One who will tell us how much He loves us and desires so much for us. He will confirm His will for our lives. He will confirm the callings, gifting’s, and anointing on our lives. He is the one who gives those to us. He is all about seeing that His Word is set out to accomplish what it was meant to do.

Staying focused and our gaze set will allow God to do what He needs to do in order to prepare us to carry what He wants to give us. The one requirement for Elisha was that he could not be distracted by what was happening around him. His gaze had to be fixed on Elijah. Even when Elijah tried to send Elisha away, Elisha said, ‘I will not leave you as long as you are still alive’.

Know What You Want: What is it that you want? Elisha wanted Elijah’s mantle or anointing. Elisha wanted a double portion of Elijah’s anointing. Some religious people might say he was arrogant and greedy to ask for more than what was already manifested. I personally believe that Elisha believed that he would do greater things than Elijah. Who wouldn’t with a double portion anointing? Jesus even said we would do even greater works than He did.

Know what you want! What is it your after? It’s ok to pursue…it’s ok to go after more as long as your not wanting to become like someone else. Being authentically you and pursuing the anointing of God on your life is perfectly legal!! He loves for us to pursue more of Him, which brings more anointing…along with more refining, more change and transition.

So instead of complaining and whining about the challenging place we might be in at the moment or the current season, let us be continually fixed on Him. Are we looking to be appeased or pampered? Are we in self-pity? Choose to pursue His Presence and His heart instead of complaining. I’m preaching to the choir here…trust me!!

Keep your eyes on Him, determine to stay in His Presence daily, stay focused, and know what you want!

This is not the end of the road, it’s only the beginning to your destiny!

We will not be shaken!!

CHRISTMAS = Christ-IN-Us

Freely Authentic1 Comment

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!!

As I was reflecting on the season of Christmas that is upon us, I was thinking about what Christmas really is and what it actually means. Yes, I know the Christmas story, the wise men, the gifts, the manger and all the rest. I know all about the hustle and bustle the world throws our way. It tends to make us feel obligated to go spend money and buy gifts for people and maybe end up finding out that gift might not even mean anything to them. Yes, it’s good to give, but how much of our giving is because we feel like we are supposed to?

Ok, I don’t want to get sidetracked here, so, what does Christmas really mean?

The thought struck me Christmas is actually, Christ – IN – Us. So out of curiosity I looked up that little word…’in’ which means ‘Expressing a movement or a situation with a result that someone or something becomes enclosed or surrounded by something else.’

Well now, that’s interesting! Someone or something becomes enclosed or surrounded by something else…hmm. Think about it for just a moment, you are being wrapped with a nice warm blanket that will protect you from the cold, caterpillars are wrapped in a cocoon, how about food that grows from the ground or trees, they are all wrapped in a protective skin. Ok, think about this one…we are wrapped in a covering of skin. Even new flowers are protected until they bloom and new babies are in a womb until they are birthed.

The more I think about it, the more fascinated I am becoming with such a small word. Everything is ‘in’ something in the natural and physical world. How about in the spiritual?

John 15:1-7 talks about Jesus being the Vine and we are the branches. Branches are ‘in’ the vine. The branches cannot survive or live without the vine. All the food, nutrients and water come from the vine. Abiding in the Vine is abiding in Jesus. It can be very difficult to walk through life’s challenges and hurdles that we face everyday, if we are not abiding IN the Vine, Jesus. Yes, there are definitely going to be times when our branch gets pruned or maybe even cut off. But that just means new growth can begin to happen. New growth is always a good thing! We gain fresh perspective, we experience new things, we are vulnerable and we are young in that specific growth area and our dependence is on/in Him. Without Him we can’t live.

John 1:4 IN Him was life, and the life was the light of men

Acts 17:28 for IN Him we live and move and exist…

2 Cor. 5:21 He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God IN Him.

Eph. 1:7 IN Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace

Eph. 1:13 IN Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation—having also believed, you were sealed IN Him with the Holy Spirit of promise.

Col. 1:17 He is before all things, and IN Him all things hold together.

Col. 2:10 and IN Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority;

1 John 2:5 but whoever keeps His word, IN him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are IN Him:

1 John 2:27 As for you, the anointing which you received from Him abides IN you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you; but as His anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you abide IN Him.

1 John 4:16 We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides IN love abides IN God, and God abides IN him.

1 John 5:20 And we know that the Son of God has come, and has given us understanding so that we may know Him who is true; and we are IN Him who is true, IN His Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and eternal life.

So now that I have listed a few scriptures talking about being IN Him, let’s go back and take a look at what that little word meant again…‘Expressing a movement or a situation with a result that someone or something becomes enclosed or surrounded by something else.’

Everything that exists seems to be IN something or someone. So I leave all of us with a couple questions…by what, or by whom am I expressing movement? By what, or by whom am I enclosed or surrounded by?

These last two scriptures are my prayer for us all…

Col 1:27 to whom God willed to make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ IN you, the Hope of glory.

Eph. 1:18 pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance IN the saints (you).

I pray through this Christmas/New Year season that we all come to the revelation of knowing “who” we are IN. I pray that we are wrapped, enclosed, encased and hidden IN the love of God, so that when we go out into the world, the world sees none other than The One we are hidden IN.

When we are IN Christ, we live, we move and we exist. THIS is Christ-IN-us which is living authentically! God cannot express Himself without us, and we cannot express ourselves without Him! All creation groans for the revealing of God in the Sons of God, as they, too, will be set free into His glorious liberty.

I pray blessing and increase upon every household and heart and an increase of abundance for 2015!

 

Pulling Back the Veil

Freely AuthenticLeave a comment

Writing Your History

One morning while in my quiet time, I was reflecting on a meeting I had attended with a handful of interns the day before. What was stirring in me was what I had heard the speaker say in that small meeting. He was talking about a scripture in 2 Corinthians 3 about a veil being over our hearts and when we turn to the Lord, the veil is taken away. What he said was this, ‘to the degree the veil has been pulled back, is the degree of hunger we have for God’. While I was reflecting on this, I saw a picture of sheer curtains being drawn back and a heart-shaped book was revealed. It was open and there was a hand holding a pen, writing on the book. I was thinking, “oh, that’s cool, God is writing my history”. Then I heard a quiet voice say, “no, I’m not writing your history, you are”!

I have heard countless times in the last five years or so that our time spent with God is a time of building our history with God. Those intimate quiet times are the times that the groundwork for our future and our destiny is formed. We begin to build with God by valuing the moments in life that we put aside to spend with Him. In those moments, the hours or even days of time spent with Him are very valuable and precious. They are opportunities we create, to spend time with the Father, the Creator of the universe, and the Lover of our souls.

I often ask myself, ‘what value do I have in spending time with God’? I have no desire to make the time I spend with him a ‘religious ritual’ but one that captivates all my attention and affection for the creator of my life, the one who is the very breath that I breathe. It’s easy to feel like we have to read the Bible every single day or pray for an hour every morning in order to maintain and cultivate a close relationship with God. For some people, having a daily schedule of reading and praying is just a religious act or ritual. For me, it has to be a desire born out of hunger that pulls me and beckons me with anticipation for what He might show me or say to me in those moments that I have created a place for Him to unveil His love for me. For a person that grew up in a correct-action-produces-acceptance-lifestyle, this endeavor is for the purpose of love, not to experience acceptance because my behavior has pleased someone; it is in this experience, that I fall in love with the One who gave everything for me. This is not about accomplishing ritual, this, is about surrender to love.

What does spending time with God do? It begins to transform the way we think, the way we see, the way we talk and the way we walk out the Kingdom in our lives. The more time spent in love with Him, the more we are transformed and the more the Kingdom is revealed. The more time spent with Him, the more our hunger is cultivated and the more we can’t live without Him. The more I give Him my all that I am, the deeper my well gets and the more the pen writes on the page of my heart the history that I am building, the story of my life through the eyes of love and not acceptance produced by my own effort of ritual.

Yes, we are building a history with God, but at the same time we are also digging a well. We determine our capacity for His presence and His glory in our lives by how deep our well is. The closer I become with Him, and the deeper my well gets then the greater my life story gets. The depth of my well tells Him what I can hold and what I can contain, and sustain. I don’t know about you, but I want a very deep well to contain and sustain all that He is, to me. When I have the opportunity to minister then it’s not about me trying to prepare a good message, but the message would come from the depths of my well, from the history that I’ve created with God; my message is what I have become.

Hunger for More

Hunger drives us to pursue. When you are naturally hungry, you go get something to eat right? My family and I were walking down the Santa Cruz Boardwalk recently having just eaten dinner at a great restaurant. We had our leftovers in a couple of small containers and as were walking a young man sitting on a bench asked us if we could part with our leftovers. Of course! I mentioned to my husband, ‘wow, that is really bold for someone to just ask for your leftovers’. Now, where we live there are a lot of homeless, so I’m used to seeing them, and being asked for money or food. I can’t remember ever having anyone ask my for the container I had in my hand. My husband said, ‘hunger will make you do bold things’. Wow…how true is that. Hunger within says, I won’t be satisfied until I have what feeds me, what will sustain me and what will expand me to want even more; He has created me this way.

Life is full of activity, responsibility and commitments that take up the majority of our daily time. Our natural tendency, especially those of us with a correct-action-produces-acceptance-lifestyle, is to get under the weight of all that life demands. This steals our joy, robs us of our hope and causes us to feel overwhelmed, even becoming depressed at the lack of time to complete all that needs to be done. It ultimately steals the most precious thing of all…time with the most incredible Father.

Matt. 5: 6 says, ‘Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they SHALL BE satisfied’. 

So I share what is becoming me, what is becoming His message that draws me to consider, to ponder, to meditate upon, that would encourage me to search my heart.

Lets engage the risk that says we are willing to give all that we are to Him, and not to build our lives on how correct we should be. Are we willing to take risk and go after more of love, in place of my rightness? How much hunger do we have for love? How thirsty are we to be satisfied? How deep is the well? How far have we pulled back the veil of our hearts? I know that when I have my heart wide open to where I am fully exposed and vulnerable, God pours into me everything I desire and need to walk out life on a daily basis with His heart. Every moment spent with Him the veil is removed more and more (2 Co. 3:13-16).

God will not violate our space, but desires unlimited access to our heart, life and soul. He fulfills every longing, every desire, every dream that you have if you open wide your heart to Him. God is not waiting for you to prove how serious you are, He is just waiting for you to bring your heart to the table. Again I say, God is not looking for your spirituality, He is looking for your surrender.

The only expectation is that I am fully yielded to Him!

The Invitation

Freely AuthenticLeave a comment

The Encounter

I was a little girl around the age of 6 or 7 and I had long brown hair and was dressed in my night gown. I turned the knob of the bedroom door and I had all the feelings that told me I was not supposed to be in this room. I continued to push open the door and peeked my head inside the room. There it was, the most beautiful bedroom I have ever seen in my life. The picture perfect bedroom! A four poster bed elegantly covered in a fluffy white cotton spread with lots of pillows and over the top and draping down all four posts was a beautiful white sheer cloth, loosely pulled back and tied to the posts. The beautiful dark wood walls reflected the flickering light of candles lit around the room. A comfy and inviting chair sat in the corner, next to the fire that was going in the fireplace. My heart was pulled and longed to see more. Then I heard the voice…

The voice said to me gently, ‘you have full access and full permission to enter this room. There is nothing off limits in this room to you. You can touch anything you want, jump on the bed, open the curtains, turn the lights on and off, have a pillow fight, try on all the clothes and shoes, and all the jewelry you want. You can have it all. You will eventually grow into most of the clothes and shoes and you will learn how to put the appropriate accessories with each outfit. I will teach you ‘how to dress’ for every occasion.’

I stepped into the room. It seemed so quiet, so beautiful, too beautiful to mess up. My eyes spotted this beautiful intricately detailed gold treasure box sitting on a table just begging me to open it. There seemed to be a glow of light coming from within the box. I walked over to it and gently opened it. My eyes fell upon the most beautiful diamond crown I had ever seen before, sitting on stunning red velvet. It sparkled so brightly that I figured that was the light I saw coming from within the box before I had opened it. Then I heard the voice again…

‘That is for you and there is a very special time when I will place that crown on your head. You don’t know when that time is, but I do.’ 

Much to my dismay, my encounter ended at that point!

Why do I tell you about my personal experience this day? I tell you because I believe it was an invitation from God to come into the secret room, the same room that I was invited into when I was a young girl. It was an opportunity for me to step into the secret place with God years ago and let Him romance me and show me how much He loved me. Little did I know at such a young age, that my fear is what would keep me from stepping into that room. I somehow thought that it was a room I didn’t have permission to be in.

Life in general and circumstances tend to keep us from entering the secret room with the Lover of our souls. Our fears, shame, and our inadequacies along with whatever else we can throw in there is what keeps us from ‘knowing’ who we are and who ‘He’ is! I missed an opportunity so long ago!

What would have been different if I had just accepted the invitation? Would life had been easier? Would all the negative things that happened in my life, would they still have happened? I can’t really answer these questions, but I think I have a pretty good idea! Had I stepped into that room, I would have learned to know what to do with my fears, my frustrations, my anger, my shortcomings, my sin, my comparisons, my self-pity, my self-righteousness, and my shame instead of burying them so deeply inside that I would someday deny that I had any of those issues. Haha!

My secret room was all about keeping these hidden from view. Be the good girl, be the pure girl, be the one everyone can depend on, be the responsible one, be the humble one etc. All the crazy lies that I believed had formed my belief system and had hidden or disguised the authentic me! The authentic one that was meant to be in the secret chamber with our Lord. The same person that was created to be so absolutely in love with The One who formed me. Wow, what valuable time I have missed being in the secret room, the secret place, the secret lovers chambers with My Lord.

My Pastor frequently says, “I can’t afford to have a thought in my head that is not in His”. God is constantly thinking about ME! He speaks continually to the authentic person that He created. My filters are in need of changing, my ears are in need of a good cleaning and the cobwebs of lies that are still hanging in my head is in need of a good sweeping.

The Invitation

How about you? When was the last time you were in His chambers? Maybe you never have been in that place before. Now is your opportunity! 🙂

Go ahead, turn the knob and open the door! There is so much awaiting you in the secret place. You have full permission and full access to all that is available in the secret place with God! There are no limits when you are with Him! There are no restrictions on how much love He can shower upon you. There is no limit of time you can spend with Him.

His banner over me is love! I am the apple of His eye! He loves me no matter what I’ve done! His heart is always open to me! His arms are always open to me! I can’t run from His love…it constantly pursues me! His love covers a multitude of sins! His love is perfect and casts out all my fears! His love will never fail! His love is the most real and genuine expression of God Himself!

Your authenticity is revealed in intimacy!

How can you or I possibly turn that invitation away?

Becoming Authentic

Freely Authentic6 Comments

Welcome to “Freely Authentic”! I pray you will find this blog encouraging and full of hope. It is my personal journey to authenticity. I hope you follow me and you can discover your authenticity too! This is meant to be a tool of encouragement, of risk-taking into the unknown, and a tool for both you and I to uncover and unravel the intricacies in the mystery of who we were created to be.

What does it mean to be authentic? Authentic is to be genuine, not false or copied, of undisputed origin, entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement with knownfacts or experience; reliable; trustworthy. 

All of us are looking for the authentic person we’ve been created to be. Authenticity says we know who we are and we don’t have to be a copy of something or someone else. We are fully known within ourselves and that is the freedom that we walk in that allows us to express who we are.

As a child around the age of 10 or so, my parents divorced. My father was an alcoholic, and my mother had just about all she could take. I remember when they sat all 7 of us children down at the dining room table and explained to us that they were getting divorced. From this time on, there was something that rested upon me and I immediately felt that I had to step up to the plate and be responsible. I remember my oldest brother and myself, the middle child, mainly being the ones who were the ‘responsible’ ones at that time. Mom had a nervous breakdown and that placed even more ‘false responsibility’ on my plate. As I grew up, to be accepted, loved, seen and known, I was unaware and threw myself into being all things to all people. This caused me to become a people pleaser, never really addressing or acknowledging how I felt about myself. Just ‘do what you’re told’ gripped me for life. The lie of ‘children are to be seen and not heard’ hovered over me for so many years and has continued to follow me all the way into adulthood.

So because of this life I had been given as a child, my authenticity was compromised and I never ‘knew’ who I was. This is the journey I am on today. God has healed many places in my heart the last five years, but there is still so much more. I am beginning to see, beginning to express, beginning to delight and become excited about the person that is emerging from the shadows. This person is becoming freer everyday!

God didn’t create us and then tell us to go be like someone else. He created us in His image therefore, if we are to be like anyone we are to be like Him. Because of our humanity and having un-renewed minds, that opens the door for us to begin floundering in our lives as we grow up, wondering who we are etc. It is a daily walk to have our minds renewed everyday so old mindsets don’t come creeping back in. There is nothing more that the devil wants than to keep up bound, silenced and in chains. It is his mission to do that.

Being authentic means that each of us carries a part of the nature of God within us that no one else on the planet carries. I am a part of Him that you are not part of.

Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…”

God knew who we were before we were ever conceived. He saw us from the very beginning. He had a plan for our lives already stamped in the heavens! He knew us before we there was any formation of us. That just blows my mind. Wow! What an incredible God. Yes, our lives took turns and went down roads that were not in His plan, but through His faithfulness, mercy and grace He never leaves us or forsakes us. He was always there, He is here now and He will always be with us everyday and every moment that lies ahead of us.

I would like to encourage you today to begin to look within and take a good long look…do you like what you see? Is what you see authentic? Is what you see genuine, true, reliable and trustworthy? Sometimes when we just take a moment God can show us so many things. He loves you just the way you are right now, but He also knows who your REALLY are! Take a few moments and see what God says to you. Jesus will never make you feel condemned, but will always show us how He sees us and will always encourage us to take a risk, step out of the boat, and come to Him and be freely authentic!

Declaration: I will not be bound by old mindsets, nor silenced by my fears and I refuse to believe any lie that the enemy has for me. I will continually renew my mind in the Word of God and time spent with The One who created me. He is the true model of authenticity. His love, His peace, His joy and His hope will fill my life on a daily basis and I will become more and more like Him. My identity comes from time spent with the Creator!

I am Freely Authentic!